I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
