I am in a vortex of obligation.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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