Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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