Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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