My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
