Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.

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  (207): There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever. http://tfl.nu/jepg
  Replies (8) Good night (2995) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet

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  (319): i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet http://tfl.nu/p6vj
  Replies (12) Good night (550) Bad night (3251) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.

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  (618): oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me. http://tfl.nu/a68t
  Replies (45) Good night (3435) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless

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  (607): Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless http://tfl.nu/a84j
  Replies (20) Good night (4974) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around

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  (407): he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around http://tfl.nu/8mq7
  Replies (21) Good night (3519) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.

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  (801): He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face. http://tfl.nu/vz1o
  Replies (79) Good night (8539) Bad night (2778) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!

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  (832): How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?! http://tfl.nu/iqkb
  Replies (58) Good night (1783) Bad night (5097) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.

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  (979): I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that. http://tfl.nu/fwoy
  Replies (1) Good night (1012) Bad night (641) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?

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  (513): Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ? http://tfl.nu/6gn7
  Replies (15) Good night (427) Bad night (1556) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.

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  (806): There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night. http://tfl.nu/26q0
  Replies (4) Good night (350) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.

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  (651): somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex. http://tfl.nu/wfkq
  Replies (2) Good night (1022) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night

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  (650): Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night http://tfl.nu/338b
  Replies (9) Good night (1345) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?

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  (435): I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself? http://tfl.nu/fnlw
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...

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  (480): Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch... http://tfl.nu/farg
  Replies (4) Good night (197) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her

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  (315): She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her http://tfl.nu/g7bc
  Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt

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