CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I can't put those talents on a resume
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
