im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
