Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time? (702): not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning http://tfl.nu/nxoz
  Replies (23) Good night (2738) Bad night (4433)
• Favorite

  (418): View more from Quebec

  I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (418): I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach. http://tfl.nu/7gys
  Replies (15) Good night (6877) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was http://tfl.nu/p0yn
  Replies (13) Good night (7365) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail. http://tfl.nu/mxx0
  Replies (15) Good night (6320) Bad night (1986)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number http://tfl.nu/oocs
  Replies (6) Good night (2997) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT. http://tfl.nu/4w87
  Replies (13) Good night (2018) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He should have died. Natural selection.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass (240): He should have died. Natural selection. http://tfl.nu/8itz
  Replies (13) Good night (2730) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated. http://tfl.nu/rg2y
  Replies (2) Good night (965) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013 http://tfl.nu/22ta
  Replies (4) Good night (713) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up http://tfl.nu/4e9b
  Replies (3) Good night (656) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.

  (561): View more from Florida

  Your mother would be so proud

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom. (561): Your mother would be so proud http://tfl.nu/t9pg
  Replies (6) Good night (898) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus. http://tfl.nu/e88p
  Replies (4) Good night (986) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox http://tfl.nu/8bo8
  Replies (2) Good night (628) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (+52): View more from Mexico

  I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+52): I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth http://tfl.nu/hxek
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis... http://tfl.nu/k30a
  Replies (1) Good night (287) Bad night (616)

Randomize