I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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