we're blogging at a bar
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize