Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
