suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
