He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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