Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
