afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
