I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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