Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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