matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
