he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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