Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
