I wannas sexs uuuuu
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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