If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
