I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just had sex bonerless
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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