You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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