i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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