But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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