i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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