He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize