I wanna passion pit in your ass
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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