Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My life is pants optional.
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