Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Your cock deserves a montage
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
