Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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