what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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