Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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