im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
