I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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