Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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