i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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