Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
try to milk me bitch
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