Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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