That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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