i used baking grease as lip gloss
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
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