From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
