wat bout pragnant strippers??
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
