she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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