so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
