Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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