I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
