Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
