So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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