So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
