What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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