yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The adults are the big ones right?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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