I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
