it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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