Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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