Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
