If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I know her cup size but not her name....
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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