You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
