just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
