I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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