omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
