we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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