he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize