A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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