So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
