I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
