Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
